Laugh A Little

A co-worker sent me this and I thought I would share....very funny

Caveat-Random Ramblings

I have always had very strong opinions about the gay lifestyle and most of my opinions aren’t popular. Yes, I am a lesbian but I don’t identify with the typical lesbian on so many levels. My view is distorted when it comes to what it means to be a gay person in America. I think this distortion comes from the fact that I lived the majority of my life as a straight woman. Gay marriage, gay rights, gender roles-the whole lesbian vs. bisexual debate, etc…none of it matters to me. I understand that these things are important and necessary for some people, but for me, I just don’t see the point.

I have no internal struggle with my sexuality and who I am. I love being a woman and I embrace my womanhood. I accept that I am not the most feminine woman in the world, but I accept and love my feminine side.

I’m not into roles in my relationship or in my everyday life. There is no butch/femme dynamic with my partner and I; we are women and that’s it. Granted, I tend to be more of the aggressor in the relationship…but that doesn’t make me masculine identified as I have been told by some. Why do I have to be manlike because I like to go for mine? Don't get that at all.

A piece of paper signed by the government and the preacher does not validate a relationship. Marriage stats from the hetero side are not stellar...if you love someone be with that person and create your own reality. Until the government recognizes gay marriage across the board: it’s a farce. I know that the argument for gay marriage is a matter of rights and I get that. I also live in reality and I’m willing to bet that gay marriage will never be recognized collectively in the USA. The thing gay couples should do is get their house in order with the tools that are available to them-get your legal stuff air tight: execute a living will and power of attorney with an incapacity clause so if something were to ever happen to either of you, there wouldn’t be any drama…and you don’t even have to be married to do these things.

What’s wrong with being bisexual? I have heard lesbians time and time again say that bisexual women can’t make up their minds about who they want to be with. I know full well that there are some ol' nasty freaks out there that just wanna screw everything that moves so they call themselves bisexual…I’m not referring to those folks. The term bisexual only means that a person is capable of being attracted to both sexes. It doesn’t mean that a bisexual is incapable of sustaining a monogamous relationship with someone whether they are female or male. I was told once that lesbians have issues with bisexual women because its difficult for them to be with someone who they know they cant satisfy 100%. I personally don’t think satisfaction is the reason someone makes a decision to be in a relationship with a person. If Jane tells Sally that she wants to be with her & Sally second guesses Jane because she is bisexual-seems to me Sally is the one with the insecurity problem. I’m just sayin’.

It’s hard to believe that there are people out there who are “all in” for the gay lifestyle. What I mean is that there are folks who won’t partake in anything that doesn’t say “gay”. Won’t go to straight venues, won't watch non-gay television, a friend of mine was seeing a chick who broke up with her because she said she finds men attractive (WTF)-This kind of behavior is so odd to me. How can you live in our society and isolate yourself from “LIFE” that to me says that you may have some other issues.

There will be no Pride Parade marches for me...no coming out meetings...no Freedom to Marry events...these things just aren't for me. I respect those who support these kinds of things simply because we all cant be the same. There will always be the freedom fighters and those who support the struggle..bravo to you. Maybe in the future my ideals will change, but for right now the extent of my lesbianism rests on the fact that I love women.

Gay Takeover

We elected the first a black president and now quite possibly a gay mayor of a major city. Oh my, what shall we ever do?

The gays are gonna take over our city...OMG!!! This is what the dumb asses here in my city think will happen if a lesbian is elected mayor.

That's right folks...we have a openly lesbian woman in the mayoral race here in Houston. Its pretty exciting really, especially when she has been in city politics for many years; first serving on the Houston City Council and then moving into the elected position of City Comptroller. The exciting part for me is that she isn't a fly by night candidate that jumped into the mayoral race with limited experience just to shake things up....she is a viable candidate.

For those that don't know, Texas is a red state-meaning that its a traditionally conservative republican state...so needless to say, having a lesbian running for mayor who actually may win is a big deal here. This historical moment however is being met with some opposition. Just last Friday, the Houston Chronicle ran a hit piece titled: Ministers, Conservatives work for Parker's Defeat-Group Opposes Lesbian in Office. Really? Why? Cause she is Gay? Are you serious?

It's 2009 and we still have a nation of bigots but today they call themselves "socially conservative." To be outraged that someone is gay in this day and age is atrocious. It sickens me that so much time and energy is wasted on issues like this. I would love for someone to explain to me how being gay impacts an individuals job or position. I came across these two comments that are indicative of ignorance in our society:

the gay and lesbian folks need to stay out of politics as well, they are guilty of trying to impose THEIR political views on society.
The reality is they're promoting an agenda which we believe to be contrary to the concerns of the community and destructive to the family.

America isnt as big of a bigot as it was 50 years ago, but bigotry is very much a part of the fabric of our society. It's okay for people to say "but she's gay".....what if people started saying "but he's black"? How much of an uproar would that cause? Why cant we say: "Who is best qualified? and eventually stand behind that person. Will we ever get to a point in this country where we don't care if a person has polkadots tattoed on their butt as long as they do the job and do it well? Only time will tell.

Unedited Truth

Over the last few days I have been reading blogs and reports of Donnie McClurkin's recent rant about homosexual perversion and I struggled as to if I was gonna blog about it at all. The whole homosexual=sin argument has been far spent in my opinion, but for some reason people keep beating it like a dead horse. What prompted me to write this blog was actually watching the interview of Tonex and his honest admission about his life and his sexuality. I was very inspired by him and his sincerity was beyond anything I had ever witnessed from a christian who called themselves being open and honest.

I spent the better part of my life in church...more specifically the Church of God in Christ (COGIC) denomination. The COGIC denomination is a totally traditional pentecostal church meaning that they believe the Bible to be the inspired, inerrant, infallible Word of God. COGIC doctrine is trinitarian (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) stressing repentance, regeneration, justification and sanctification. The church teaches that the baptism of the Holy Spirit is given to all Christian believers who ask for it. Holiness of life and practice are emphasized. Mr. Donnie McClurkin decided to give his impromptu sermon on the perversion of homosexuality at the COGIC national convention. I found it rather strange that after all of the years of him claiming that he was an ex gay that he decides to wrangle everyone's attention at one of the biggest church conventions in the USA. I am almost of the belief that he wanted some attention...especially after Tonex laid it down back in September 2009.

The platform that McClurkin choose to deliver his sermon was ideal for the response that he sought. I have been in those conventions many many times...that particular setting was a youth service & typically the young people there range from 12-25. There is a lot of singing and shouting and emotional displays showing your love for God. So when the video opens and Dr. Rogers is speaking in tongues incessantly, it is a sure indicator that the message she gave was rousing and everyone was already on an emotional/spiritual high...perfect for Donnie to take the mic and go for it....the people were ready to receive what he had to say. God forgive me if I am wrong, but I just believe that he chose this time and place to try and remain relevant after Tonex put some real truth out there.

As for the content of his sermon...I just don't get why people feel that their experience is the end all explanation for what they consider a problem. McClurkin has said repeatedly; over the years that he was molested at 8 years old and his molestation caused him to turn to homosexuality. I of course don't buy this mess for one minute, but if he says that this is his reality...then I accept that and move along. Church people are so apt to try and classify things as more sinful than others which is the basis of this whole sermon Donnie gave. He wants people to believe that we are some perverse group of people who have either been molested or had some type of sexual trauma and if those explanations don't fit...there is always the title of depravity that we are cloaked with to make the whole homosexual=sin argument valid. The sad thing about this is that the folks that talk like this-including McClurkin actually believe this kind of foolishness.

Let me get a little personal here. If you have read my "journey to me" blog posts, you know that my grandfather touched me inappropriately when I was young and that I was raped at the age of 13. As I grew older I never ran to the arms of women for love or comfort. I had boyfriends just like every other girl my age (sorry McClurkin) I didn't start to suspect that I was gay until I was nearly 16 and even then it was just a fleeting thought. More than that, gay/lesbian was not something that we knew a lot about if anything for that matter. So it was almost not an option. I personally don't know how Mr. McClurkin knew how to go troll for men back in his day unless he had this overwhelming desire to find a dude for some sex. I mean, if you can look for a dude for sex why not go look for you a girl...I'm sorry, but rape does not equal gay; but I digress. Nevertheless, I had thoughts of women in my mid to late teen years, but never allowed myself to accept that I was different in that way. So I went years living my life as a heterosexual woman. I accepted my sexuality many years later after I realized that this is who I was. I am attracted to women and no matter what I do, the attraction will remain. My point here is that despite negative or traumatic experiences NOTHING WILL MAKE YOU GAY. Not even Katy Perry's song Mr. McClurkin. Suggesting that molestation or a song that talks about kissing a girl makes you gay is akin to suggesting that if your best friend takes a leap from the 12th floor roof, you will do the exact same thing-that's just plain lunacy.

I have the utmost respect for Tonex. He found or made no excuse for who he is. He is honest with himself and his followers about where he stands and that their quest for God is their own. He had no condemnation for anyone. He doesn't appear to be a people pleaser which has been evident throughout his career. He didn't demonize other homosexual people. His love and selflessness was evident in his conversation. These are the traits that we as Christians should have. Bravo Tonex.

I believe that the church is so concerned about homosexuality because it keeps the church relevant in society...kinda like a politician. In order for a politician to be useful, he has to know and be concerned about what his constituents are concerned about. The same goes for the church. They are quick jump of the wagon of things that they can't explain away with the Bible and demonize it to the point that an entire segment of the population is ignorant to the truth. The black church is notorious for this kind of thing...this is why black folks are so homophobic.

As for Donnie McClurkin-he needs much prayer. What he has failed to understand is that homosexuality, like heterosexuality, is a sexual orientation. People don't choose their sexual orientations. They are who they are. They may choose whether to act on their sexual orientations, but they have little or no choice about the sexual orientation itself. The problem is that most people confuse sexual orientation with sexual behavior. Choosing to accept one's self without fear or shame is not the same as choosing one's sexual orientation. Choosing to act a certain way after accepting one's sexual orientation is not the same as choosing the orientation either. Unfortunately, Donnie McClurkin doesn't get it. But maybe he doesn't get it because, like many people, he thinks in limited spaces. They tend to generalize from the micro to the macro and assume that everyone else must, naturally, be exactly as we are.

I love myself and who I am....I pray that one day Mr. McClurkin and others like him get to the point where they can love themselves. This is my unedited truth.

Cerebrally Active

When was the last time you as a person of color visited the museum? No, taking your kids to the butterfly exhibit or the playdoh festival doesn’t count. I mean actually going to the museum because you are interested in checking out the art on the walls or the science exhibit everyone is raving about. When was the last time you took a stroll through the sculpture garden just to admire the work on display? Can you recall the last time you went to an art or gallery opening just because you wanted to go? Would going to a poetry reading be of any interest to you? You ask someone if they enjoy theater and their reply is yes-I really enjoyed “A Good Man is Hard to Find.” Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the stage plays we hear advertised on our local urban radio stations…but this is not the theater I am referring to. I’m speaking more along the lines of Broadway productions. Let’s face it, as a whole, black people are just not into the arts.

Before you start to bust my chops…yes, I am aware that there are myriads of African Americans who are not only art connoisseurs, but are brilliant artists (poets, photographers, writers, designers, musicians etc)…these are not the people I am referring to. I am also aware that there is a segment of our population that just doesn’t have a desire to delve into anything artistic because it just isn’t their thing.

I am however speaking in generalities & referring to the everyday black person who probably wouldn’t choose an art gallery to take his or her date. The person that has never exposed themselves to artistic expression outside of music. The person who has preconceived notions as to what they think goes on at an art opening or gallery. The person that thinks the museum is boring and there couldn’t possibly be anything there of interest to him/her.

Remember when there were no African American golfers in the public eye and then all of a sudden a dapper dude by the name of Tiger Woods hit the scene. Black folks from everywhere begin to develop an interest in golf. Shortly after Tiger took the golf world by storm…two sisters; Venus & Serena Williams overtook the world of tennis when no other black female players existed sans Althea Gibson & Arthur Ashe. Sports were off limits for blacks for a very long time and once we were given the opportunity to play we excelled and to date blacks dominate most professional sports…the arts on the other hand not so much.

Unlike sports, blacks have never been denied the right to express themselves artistically…although at one time we were not able to display our works for the world to see…but we have always been able to create. Black artists have existed for eons and they will continue to exist and create. The question for people of color is if we will support and embrace their work. I attended an art showing last night and had the pleasure of speaking with the artist (I will blog about her later) and one of the things she said was that there is a gap between the art world and everyday black person. People have preconceived notions that art is stuffy and boring when in actuality it doesn’t have to be any of those things.

As I am writing this the phrase Urban Art Culture comes to mind. Our society is so engrained with Hip Hop and all of its trappings that they are failing to realize that art...i.e. Urban Art exists as well and if you are of the hip hop generation as I am…Urban Art will speak to you. We tend to whine and complain about there being nothing to do are see or that there is nothing different out there…but we fail to open our eyes and minds. Everyone is stuck in 1st gear doing the same thing over and over again: party, get wasted, party some more; as black people, we are so much more than these things. We must make sure that as a community we have more than music and style. We have forgotten about that our cerebellum needs to be stimulated in order to foster our intellectual growth. In one room last night I was surrounded by visual artists, body paint artists, make-up artists, DJ’s, photographers, musicians and writers all of whom were African American; how cool is that.

Bridging the gap between the art world and our world isn’t a difficult thing to do. It’s a matter of being open to something new and different. Allowing yourself to experience something out of the norm and actually enjoying it. Art is life…life is art. Let’s become responsible stewards of the world and all of its gifts…let’s become cerebrally active...try it, it feels so good.

Rethink. Resolve. Renew

The title of this post was the theme of the Texas Conference for Women that I attended for the first time on yesterday. To be honest, I didn’t want to attend, but I am so glad I did. Imagine being in the company of 5000 professional women; from different backgrounds and ethnicity's…who came together for the purpose of bettering themselves on all levels. Women like Dr. Mae C. Jemison who was the first woman of color to go into space; literary legend Isabel Allende whose novels and memoirs have established her as one of the most respected Latin American writers the world has ever known; Tory Johnson who is an award-winning workplace advisor, national network television contributor, popular speaker and New York Times best selling author. Christy Haubegger, the founder of Latina, the first bilingual magazine targeted exclusively to Hispanic women in the U.S. and Suze Orman, America's most recognized expert on personal finance. As I sat and listened to these women speak a lot of things that they said made a lasting impact on me.

All of the women mentioned above spoke beautifully, but I was most inspired by Christy Haubegger. As she was speaking, one thing she said really hit home with me: “Until the world can look at a woman of color and not assume that she is the help in a hotel or a store-there is still a lot of work to be done.” As black women we have come a long way since the days of slavery, Jim Crow laws and being the maid for the white folks…we have careers, we own property, we are in leadership positions & we even have a black president-but even with all of this progress, there is so much more to be done.

As I pondered the statement Christy Haubegger made, I thought back about 12 years when I was first called a nigger...I continued to think of all the times that I have been out shopping and was asked if I worked in the store. All of the incidents had major impact on me, so much so that I made a pact with myself to elevate who I am as a person. The thing that those incidents didn’t move me to do was step out and help some other little black girl to see that being called a nigger or assumed to be the maid or the store clerk is not your only option. I want to give of myself to help someone else. I desire to be an encourager to someone who has never been encouraged. There is still lots of work to do…until people of color are assumed to be doctors, lawyers, publishers instead of maids and store clerks our work is not done & and want to be a part of the building process.

To find out more about the Texas Conference for Women click here

Stand Still and Know

As I was driving in to work this morning I remembered a bible verse that was engrained in me many years ago: Stand Still and Know that I am God. I have been thinking about that verse all morning and wondering why at this point in my life it has popped up in my head…so I began to ponder the verse as a whole.

To stand still and trust God is often the most difficult thing that a Christian is asked to do. Standing still is not a substitute for progress. Rather it is a prerequisite of progress in our life. A besetting fault among us in this restless age is the tendency to get ahead of God. We are impatient. We cannot wait. Things just have to be happening all the time and with this attitude we often end up doing the wrong thing.

We loathe guard duty because we see it as getting nowhere. So we take the initiative and force the issue all the while hoping that the Creator is leading our way because we are on the move and doing what we think is best for us. All such activity eventually ends in tragedy. It makes no difference how imperative our course of action seems to be; unless we are beckoned by the creator we will lose our way. Conversely, it makes no difference how suicidal a course of action may seem to us or what loss and sacrifice it may hold, when the voice of God says distinctly this is the way you should go, we should listen and act.

When we accept the truth about who we really are: weak, feeble, and ineffectual, we can surrender our desire to control outcomes and entrust the care of the world to the Creator. We must be mindful of the fact that it is God’s past that provides the calm for our future. He has shown us time and time again that he has our best interests at heart, if only we trust him.

Know that he is God. Know it, not merely intellectually, but practically, spiritually, and emotionally. He is your God, your creator.

“Stand still and know that I am God.”